hurt feelings
Well, something just happened when I dropped J at preschool that caused some hurt feelings. J's a little, but mine mostly. I guess it shouldn't. I got a tiny sneak preview of some of the heartache that my kids will go through in their days. This is the kind of thing I wish I could protect them from completely even though I know it would be impossible and silly and maybe even harmful to do so.
J is shy. Well, not shy, a little withdrawn. Reserved. He'll talk you a blue streak if you bring up the right subject (trains) but the kids at school are into Star Wars and Power Rangers and fire breathing dragons, etc. He just isn't interested. He is very good at doing his own thing and being perfectly happy with it. Recently he started calling two little boys, who happen to be in a set of triplets, his friends. This is a big step for him. Usually if you ask who his friends are he'll name some of his cousins or Z.
So I'm talking to the triplets' mom about Kindergarten and how she's decided to keep them in preschool one more year. I asked when their birthday is and she's says April 6. "Oh, it's coming up soon!" I say cheerfully. The other moms come in and say things like, "(insert boy's name here) can come Saturday." or "We're going to be out of town this weekend." I'm not thinking much about it. But as soon as the triplets walk in the classroom they are gushing about their birthday party. "Lots of people are coming and we're gonna have cake and go swimming."
J wasn't invited.
He just looked up at me in the doorway. I don't know if he caught what was going on or not. And he'd never admit it if he did. He walked over to the circle and sat down and started talking to one of the teachers. I waved goodbye cheerfully, trying to ignore the lump in my throat.
Normally, this sort of thing does not bother me a bit, and in this case, I might be a little relieved, seeing that there would be three gifts to buy. As a mom, I know you can't invite everyone to a party, and for Pete's sake, J didn't invite any little friends to his party. But this time my heart just sank. The two boys that he's calling his friends. Bummer.
All of those feelings from my school days just rushed back about who likes who best and who is not invited and who is and who gets to play on what team. I know these are my feelings and not J's, but man, it smarts. I'm just going to have to play it cool and forget about it. I know he won't think about it again and good for him. Way to go kid. It's just too early to deal with this, you know?
J is shy. Well, not shy, a little withdrawn. Reserved. He'll talk you a blue streak if you bring up the right subject (trains) but the kids at school are into Star Wars and Power Rangers and fire breathing dragons, etc. He just isn't interested. He is very good at doing his own thing and being perfectly happy with it. Recently he started calling two little boys, who happen to be in a set of triplets, his friends. This is a big step for him. Usually if you ask who his friends are he'll name some of his cousins or Z.
So I'm talking to the triplets' mom about Kindergarten and how she's decided to keep them in preschool one more year. I asked when their birthday is and she's says April 6. "Oh, it's coming up soon!" I say cheerfully. The other moms come in and say things like, "(insert boy's name here) can come Saturday." or "We're going to be out of town this weekend." I'm not thinking much about it. But as soon as the triplets walk in the classroom they are gushing about their birthday party. "Lots of people are coming and we're gonna have cake and go swimming."
J wasn't invited.
He just looked up at me in the doorway. I don't know if he caught what was going on or not. And he'd never admit it if he did. He walked over to the circle and sat down and started talking to one of the teachers. I waved goodbye cheerfully, trying to ignore the lump in my throat.
Normally, this sort of thing does not bother me a bit, and in this case, I might be a little relieved, seeing that there would be three gifts to buy. As a mom, I know you can't invite everyone to a party, and for Pete's sake, J didn't invite any little friends to his party. But this time my heart just sank. The two boys that he's calling his friends. Bummer.
All of those feelings from my school days just rushed back about who likes who best and who is not invited and who is and who gets to play on what team. I know these are my feelings and not J's, but man, it smarts. I'm just going to have to play it cool and forget about it. I know he won't think about it again and good for him. Way to go kid. It's just too early to deal with this, you know?
posted by Alicia A. at Tuesday, March 28, 2006
8 Comments:
Boy, that's rough. Hopefully, he didn't really know what was going on. I'm sorry for you though. I am not looking forward to those sorts of things. We are one emotional sensitive bunch over here, so I know I would be as sad and bummed as you are now. Give your sweetie an extra hug for me-ya know from the lady he has no idea even exists. 8-)
I told myself not to read this, after seeing the title. And again, into the first paragraph... Go Back, I said. Close the site. Read tomorrow's, instead.
But I read it anyway. And cried, which I didn't even do when Sam made Bird of Sorrow. Jason called just then, and was alarmed as to why I was crying.
Thank goodness you're off the hook for three gifts.
Incidentally, I think it's obnoxious of other moms to say, "So and so can come." We wouldn't do that at work, about a cocktail party, and the same etiquitte should apply.
Slay them.
kk
Oh Alicia, my heart breaks for him too! Very poor etiquette on the Mommy's part. Hopefully she learned a lesson though... if she's not able to invite everyone in the class, make that clear to the ones who are invited so you don't get a situation such as this morning. Tell Jackie we love him bunches. :):)
Aww, my heart breaks! I think the mother of the triplets has poor manners, indeed. We usually have the opposite situation, as in everyone in the whole class gets invited even though I have no idea who the kid nor parents are.
Oh, that is so difficult.
I was the parent helper today at preschool, and it was quite hard for me to see how Griffin behaves -- the teachers say its perfectly normal -- but every kid came up to the teachers complain that Griffin was growling at them like a monster.
Not the same situation as yours, I know, but it's still Preschool Politics and it sucks.
How sad! I can remember that happening to me as an older child, and it makes me so sad for Jack.
I agree with the previous comments:
Very bad etiquette.
Slay them.
Aw, poor little guy :( I think the mothers who essentially announced to the world that their kid was invited committed more of an etiquette breach than the mother of the triplets. In the end though, what matters most is that little (and big) feelings were hurt. So sorry....
I know how you feel, it's tough being a kid sometimes. Oh boy, it's tough being a mother too! My daughter's first year in primary school, we invited her entire class of 40 girls to a McDonalds' party because we didn't want anyone's feelings to be hurt.
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